prisonforkids:

From the upcoming Swill Purl by Prison for Kids

hayyyyyyyyyyyyle yes

Game of Thrones revisionist fan fiction - Trial of Tyrion Lannister - S4E6

In my revisionist fan fiction, Shae figures out that Tyrion always loved her and loves her still. Also in my revisionist fan fiction, Shae is smart. But somewhere between King’s Landing and Pentos, Cersei kidnaps and tortures her, and forces her to testify against Tyrion. Problem is, Cersei reveals a lot of crucial information during the torture, which Shae then uses on the stand. She opens her testimony saying that Tyrion would force her to hold his face and call him “my kitty cat.” Which gets Tyrion’s attention. Wait what? Kitty cat? Omg, is she sending me a message?

And then Shae proceeds to testify that Tyrion and Cersei plotted Joffrey’s murder /together/. Tyrion hated Joffrey and Cersei wanted to stay Queen Regent. But Tyrion chickened out, says Shae. He was too weak, too afraid. (Tywin nodding like, that’s true, he’s weak)

But Cersei was strong, says Shae. Cersei moved forward without Tyrion. It was Cersei who stole the poison from Maester Pycelle, Cersei who commissioned the necklace, Cersei who put it in her son’s cup. And then after the murder, Cersei betrayed Tyrion, determined to cover her tracks.

At this point, Cersei is, just, like, losing her SHIT. Margey’s like, OMG. OMG omg omg omg.

And Tywin says, “you realize: the punishment for perjury is death.”

And Shae says, “I am already dead. But at least I can believe that evil /might/ be punished.”

"Order, order!" shouts Tywin, as a crowd that already hates Cersei’s guts starts booing and throwing things. In the ensuing chaos, Jaime and Shae get Tyrion the hell out of there, meeting Bronn at the harbor. They grab the fast ship meant for Princess Myrcella and book it for Danaerys country.

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You love me! Youuuu love me.

You love me! Youuuu love me.

In Andersonville. Be kind.

In Andersonville. Be kind.

Faces, Circles.

When I see my face in eyeliner and red lipstick, I see the face of my grandmother the age of my age. Cheekbones, eyebrows, glamour, showboat.

A young man at the cocktail party, we’ll call him Sam, told me he was finishing up his undergraduate degree and studying for the MCATs. We talked about the older students in his MCAT prep course, and how he admired them for their attitude toward the tutor. “This one woman in the class, she’ll say, ‘excuse me! You need to speak more slowly!’ None of the rest of us have the guts to do that.”

I mentioned that my father is a doctor, and all three of his children are arty types, didn’t go into medicine. But my baby brother’s girlfriend is in med school, and it was really cool at Thanksgiving to hear her and my dad doctor out, my dad saying, oh yeah, we’ll get some raw chicken and practice sutures tomorrow.

“That could still be you, though,” said Sam. “When you’re 30, you’ll be that woman in the MCAT prep course, calling out the teacher.” I laughed and said it’s a little late for that. He looked confused and I told him that I’m 31. And, of course, flattered myself by asking how old he’d thought I was. “Honestly I thought you were my age—22!” he said.

Sam later lost favor when he kept accusing me of being drunk, or having drunk too much. It’s true, there is sortof a raving way I speak when I’m excited, especially at parties. It’s not a function of alcohol, it’s just me and how I am, like how I speak with a kindof funny accent to a lot of people.

“Son, I am sixteen months stone cold sober. I cannot convey to you just how not drunk I am, and for the rest of my life,” I thought and did not say. Later he said he was Bahà’ì.

“Really!” I said. “What would Bahà’u’llàh have to say about that drink you got there?” Sam was cagey and bashful. I only said it because he’d pushed so hard on me about drinking before. But then, considered that such social retribution is never necessary. He hadn’t been talking about me and my drinking to begin with; all things seen are seen in oneself.

When President O says, “we need to do away with workplace policies that belong in a ‘Mad Men’ episode” …

When President O says, “we need to do away with workplace policies that belong in a ‘Mad Men’ episode” …

Seen on the Granville red line platform. RR = Richie Rich.

Seen on the Granville red line platform. RR = Richie Rich.

The building two doors north of me has a big “X” bolted to the side of it, and a bunker in back where that chainlink fence is. Looks like demolition has finally started (power of the X incarnate).

The building two doors north of me has a big “X” bolted to the side of it, and a bunker in back where that chainlink fence is. Looks like demolition has finally started (power of the X incarnate).

A comic about the Blackhawks, the lions outside the Art Institute, love, anatomy, lesbians, youth, and Chicago. 

Originally posted to: ericaricardo.com/vlad/lions

Been friends with Steve for 17 years. Could deliver you decades’ worth of photos of us two in this same pose. 

He moved to Long Beach last summer, but was back in town for a show. Too many hot women at his opening [puns intended].